We've finished medical school, are 3 weeks away from MBBS, and there are so many things on my mind. It's been a difficult week, there are moments when I am overcome by sheer fear, of being incompetent and ill prepared to take MBBS, and to practice as a doctor. Silly things like missing motor weakness in a patient because I was so fixated on his ataxia, for not being able to answer basic questions like the causes of dactylitis or the presentations of psoriatic arthritis. Grateful for our tutor who pointed out that I sometimes say or do things too fast and end up saying things that I don't mean. I should try to be more meticulous and more thoughtful in my work.

Time and time again, in moments when I am so imperfectly human, it's so easy to get snappy or upset at insignificant things. There's this self entitlement complex which is so unhealthy.
In reflection, I'm learning. Learning to love my family in times of need because I know they will gladly do the same for me. Learning to love my friends, to give a little more of myself. Learning to love through disagreements and frustrations when its easier to walk away, which I'm often so guilty of doing. Learning to love patients, irregardless of paying status/race/nationality or whether they express gratitude in return.

To recognize pride, expectations and selfishness and to cast these aside.
To love in spite of, because Christ is such a perfect epitome of love as depicted in 1 Corinthians.